This blog is about healthcare; all forms of healthcare. I guess that even includes empty nest coaching. Wait, I know right about now you’re wondering, “What’s an empty nest coach?” I’m glad you asked because this post is all about them.
Tara Weiss, writing in The Wall Street Journal, says there’s a new occupation out there now for those looking to help parents adjust to the emptiness of their house when their children leave home. Weiss says, “Helicopter parents get accustomed to tracking their children’s every move via smartphone, keeping activities tightly scheduled, scrutinizing homework and grades, exchanging miles of texts. For a certain cohort of hands-on parents, getting their teens into college marks the finish line. Then comes the coup de grâce. ‘Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! See you at Thanksgiving!’”
She says the kids are fine, but the parents are now the ones who need help. The exit of high-school seniors leaves many feeling like “they’re being fired from a job they’ve had for 18 years,” says Jason Ramsden, who has made a name for himself on TikTok as “The Empty Nest Coach.”
It seems this new occupation is a growing livelihood – with training certification, support groups and $250-an-hour private-counseling sessions. Demand is driven by parents who feel an emotional and logistical vacuum after years of shepherding children from one moment to the next.
Kenny Hayslett recalled bittersweet feelings when his oldest child left for college. But he didn’t expect the profound sadness when his middle child said goodbye last year. “They all sting, but this one hurt,” the 56-year-old said. “Even though you know it’s coming to an end, it is such a shock,” said Ramsden, who ushered his last child out the door a little more than two years ago. TikTok’s algorithm, sensing Hayslett’s pain when his second child left for college last year, served one of Ramsden’s empty-nester videos. Hayslett, of Clearwater, Fla., said he felt like “this dude is talking right to me. I can’t believe this is a thing.” He paid Ramsden $2,000 for weekly videoconferences over about three months before Camden left for college.
Weiss tells us, like other things no longer taboo—from getting fired to not wearing pants—empty-nesters want to talk about their struggle. Ramsden has drawn more than 50,000 subscribers to his TikTok account since becoming a certified coach in 2022. Elsewhere on the internet, the Facebook group Empty Nest Moms has more than 12,000 members seeking guidance and assurance from others in the same emptied boat. The Inspired Empty Nest, an online community started by empty-nester Bobbi Chegwyn, offers to connect local parents seeking to commiserate about the sudden silence at home.
Executive and life coaching were popular specialties when Valorie Burton, CEO of the Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute in Atlanta, began in 2002. In past years, she said, coaching services have widened to people going through a divorce or career change. Training can last a weekend or as long as six months, teaching coaches to help clients set goals and carry them out.
Empty-nesters get plenty of unsolicited advice from friends and family: Get a job. Get a hobby. Get a life. Empty-nest coaches say such suggestions aren’t helpful first steps. “They need to grieve,” said empty-nest coach Natalie Caine. She became a $250-an-hour certified coach in Los Angeles following her own entry into empty-nesthood 15 years ago. “I get asked all the time,” Caine said, “‘Do other parents feel like this?’”
Camden Hayslett said he wasn’t surprised his father was sad about him leaving for college. The only time he ever saw him cry was when the family said goodbye to his older brother after they dropped him at school. What he didn’t see coming was his dad hiring an empty-nest coach. Camden thinks it has helped. It doesn’t hurt that he talks with dad every day. “That’s something that makes him feel more in the loop,” he said.
I’m probably the least qualified person to comment on this subject since my wife and I are not parents. I’m sure my parents weren’t looking for an “empty nest coach” when I went off to college 2000 miles away – they were probably celebrating! But this sounds like another indicator that some people just have too much money and too much time on their hands.
